I think it’s about that time where it’s hot and I don’t wanna do anything and on top of that I have what we call pandemic fatigue which makes me tired from anxiety. So, I didn’t want to self-care today but see, that’s why I be talking about the importance of it on this blog. We need to take care of ourselves even if we don’t want to. And last night I checked in and realized how lonely I felt, so I am glad to have had friend time.
I forced myself to go tubing with my friend. I was anxious about being around literally anyone and also..I didn’t want to die in the river. I want to spend time with people I love in the safest way possible. That seems to be a lot of video stuff but ever so often it seems to be something outdoors. I understand the pandemic and I also think there is risk assessment everyone has to do. I am not a fan of the shaming of people who step outside. Especially of those who live alone, which is a whole other conversation. I understand it, but I don’t think it’s helpful. I paused in sharing this self-care of the day because of judgement then I had to think about it and go FUCK that judgement. I can’t right now, and I plan on doing a video on self-care and covid Monday where I talk about this more.
Anyhoo. It was fun except for my anxiety about being around people. I was six feet away for the most part and I did wear two masks in the hot got damn sun, and kept them on for everything BUT taking a few pictures, despite being away from people. (While no one told me two masks is more effective, I sho nuff wore them anyways). Covid has negatively impacted everything (if you care about it…and you should, not just for yourself but for others) and I think it’s hard to find connection and peace at the same time right now.
Outdoor activities with masks on in the heat feel the safest to me and if it comes with a little pain of anxiety but also brings me enough joy to last me, I find a way. Because we are all trying to navigate this shit. So, here I am in a donut on the river, doing my best like everyone else to have some sense about things and not die from covid AND NOT DIE FROM HUMAN INTERACTION.